Thursday, March 1, 2012

How Couples Therapy Helps Marriage and Relationship Problems

Couples therapy works by understanding the behavior patterns of the parties involved in a relationship. After understand these patterns then strategies and solutions can be developed to resolve the problems effectively. Not only resolving the problems, after counseling the couples will have strategies that can be used in the future if the are facing problems and it can improves the couples' relationships.

Personal growth happen throughout our life. When both individuals involved in a relationship mentally growth they will have develop a stable, loving and more fruitful relationship. Couples therapy can help individuals in the relationship to understand himself / herself and his / her partner better. A successful couples therapy will not only saves a relationship but it also will make the relationship better and stronger than ever before. Couples therapy will also help the individuals to grow mentally and emotionally.

During the session both party involved in the relationship will be asked to tell their partner the things they usually keep for themselves (of course these are the things that is relevant to the problem at hand). As people develop trust when they are sharing their deepest and private self, after going through the therapy a couple will develop a new level of trust and understanding between them.

A couple can face a lot of problems. Communication problem, financial issue and boundary problems with the other family members. These problems may seem insignificant at first, but it can grows and eventually ruining a relationship. Couples therapy will not make these problems disappear but couples therapy will help couples to go through these problems. A trained and experienced therapist may also have advices that are applicable for many situations.

Couples therapy are conducted in sessions. After 10 to 12 sessions usually problems can be identified and behavioral strategies begin to take effect. The number of the sessions itself can be tailored depending on the issues that the couple is facing. There are many cases where couples want to continue the therapy after they realized that they are learning new skills and strategies when facing relationships problem (and dealing with other people in general)

Couples therapy can be a very effective tools because it helps individuals to learn and understand their partners. Since every individual is different a therapist also develop and apply different strategies even when facing the same issue. After therapy couples are expected to reach a new level in their relationships, where they learn to live lovingly and understand their partners.

Understanding Couples Therapy

Couples therapy is also known as Marriage counseling. It is a form of therapy that is dealing with couples that have problems in their relationship, identifying the problems and come up with solutions that can solve these problems. Couples therapy can works for any type of relationship and not only for a marriage. There are business partners that attend couples therapy when they have personal problems between them and don't want their problems ruin their business partnership.

A relationship consist of more than one people, and every people are different. These differences can be a source of conflict. In counseling both party involved in a relationship will tell what is bothering them. What they really think of the other party and what they think is the problem. Why do they not agree with the other party. This may seem easy, but in reality a lot of people are not telling their partners what is really on their mind and sooner or later this will cause misunderstandings and problems. In a couples therapy the therapist or counselor will provide a good environment and act as a mediator so all parties can have their say in a constructive and civil manner.

In most cases, problems in a relationship start with communication, or to be precise, the parties involved are failed to communicate their needs and ideas. In couple therapy, the counselor will trained the couples on how to communicate each other. How to really listen to what their partners are telling them and understand each other. During the sessions, couples will learn things about their partner that they have never known before. They will hear the things about them that they sometimes do not realize it exists. After therapy, couples will understand their partner better then they used to be.

Finding a therapist is like finding any other doctor, although you have to remember that this is a speciality and not just "a doctor". You can start by asking for recommendation from friends, family the people around you. You must also look at his / her credentials, is s/he licensed and certified? One thing that is really important is, both you and your partners must feel comfortable with the therapist. Remember that in therapy session, you and your partner will be sharing personal secrets and stories, those that you don't want to share with anyone else (and a stranger, assuming you don't know your therapist before). Couples therapy will only work if you and your partner are pouring what is really on your mind and not some politically correct statements that you probably say daily, so it is very important that you find someone you feel comfortable sharing your stories with.

The Advantages and Disadvantages of Marriage Counselling

In a marriage there are two people involved and usually both have different perspectives. In many cases, a problem occurs because of these differences. A marriage counselor can help in resolving issues in marriage although of course, the couples have to put efforts and want their marriages to be saved.

The first step will be to find the right marriage counselor. We can ask our friends and / or family for a recommendation. We also have to look at the credentials. Probably the most important thing is the "chemistry" between the couple and the counselor. In counselling session, the couple will tell the counselor private things, things that they wont share to anyone. All counselors are sworn to keep their clients secrets, but there are person that we feel comfortable to tell our secrets and there are those that just can't "connect" to us. Recommendation and credentials are important, but we must put "chemistry" at the top because we will be sharing private stories and feelings that usually we keep for ourselves.

If you are curious about various methods use in couples therapy, you can find further information in this couples therapy in Montreal page.

The Advantages

Usually the counselor will act as a bridge, a mediator between the two conflicting parties. A good counselor will make every sessions productive. Both husband and wife (and if there are other party involved) will get the chance to say what is in their mind in civilized manner. A counselor can also offer advice and helping the couple to work through their problems and resolve them.
In many cases, the problem occur because a couple can't understand each other. They have things that for a certain reason they choose to keep for themselves and later causing a misunderstanding. After sometimes, the misunderstanding becomes bigger and it turns to a huge problem that can wreck a marriage. A counselor is there to resolve this communication issue, acting as a voice of reason between the couple.

The Disadvantages

There are couples that misunderstood a marriage counselor and expecting their counselor to make a "miracle". They are basically leaving the counselor to do all the jobs, i.e refuse to cooperate and tell what is really bothering them.

In most cases, couples are going to a marriage counselor as the last resort. It is even a common thing that one party (or both) is already file for divorced when they decided to try a marriage counselor. There is no quick fix for this situation. Both parties must want they marriage to be saved, they must willing to put their best effort and then the counselor will guide them through the whole healing process.

A marriage is not easy, and problems will occur. If you are having problems in your marriage and it seems that there is no way out, don't give up. Look for a marriage counselor that you feel the right person, and if you really want your marriage to be saved and willing to work for it, the marriage counselor may very well be the answer for your problems.

4 Problems Couples Therapy Can Address

A lot of people are looking at couple therapy as a sign of a relationship is ending. However, with the help of professional therapist a relationship not only can be saved, but also can be strengthen. You do not need to wait for the problem to occur to see a couple therapist, as the therapy can help to make your relationship even stronger. Here are 4 common problems in a relationship that is often addressed in couple therapy.

1. The number one issue that often dissolves marriages and relationship is financial problems. Couple therapy can't resolve your budget crisis immediately, but it will help couples to communicate, identify the problems and the necessary steps to solve these problems. Having a third party perspective can also help you to identify the problems and as trained professional the therapist will be able to help you to find the solution and guided you through the process. Money can come and go, losing a relationship over such thing is not worth any price.

2. Another common problem in a relationship is infidelity. Infidelity can comes in several forms, and not only in the form of sexual contact such as sexual relationship. Infidelity is a betrayal so most likely one party will lose trust they have for the other one. In many cases this could means an end to the relationship, however, with a therapy it is very possible to rebuilt the trust and even strengthened it.

3. There are a lot of couples that have problems in their sex life. Even when they are comfortable with each other but when it comes to sex, they may not be comfortable to talk about it frankly. In a long term relationship, many couples experience boredom (in their sexual life) and some are not able to perform like they used to be. Attending couple therapy can help to spice things up and make sex feels like when the couple first met and even better.

4. Addiction is a very common problem and it is very possible that one or even both person in a relationship to have an addiction problem, maybe it is alcohol, drugs and / or sex addiction. This problem can destroy a relationship as an addiction will make not only the addict suffer but also the people around him / her. Couple therapy can help the individual to deal with his / her addiction and the significant other to help their partner.

Couple therapy is a very powerful tool in helping a relationship in trouble. If you feel that your relationship is in trouble, or you simply want a better relationship you can consider couple therapy as a mean to achieve it.

If you need couples therapy in Montreal, you can look at http://psychologyresource.ca/treatments/ for further information.